March 10, 2014

i have woven words out of my own skin and bones
and so i know
that when you say, ‘i don’t want to love anymore,’
you’re feeding me an elaborate lie.

you don’t want the appeal of waking up
afraid to be alive
because you’re scared that no one thinks about you first thing in the morning.

you don’t want the responsibility
of caring, of worrying what life will be like
when you’re gone - it doesn’t matter, it never matters as long as you’re gone.

you do not want to be deprived of love, because
it is the greatest thing in the world to be able to love:
to start smoking because it’ll kill you slower than you would have otherwise,
to send jars and jars of pills to someone far away instead of hoarding them in your bedside table because it is
time you started taking care of yourself
even though you know you’re not doing it for you,
to be able to bleed your guts out for your fellow man
and drag yourself to your feet to take more.

to wish you couldn’t love anymore is to wish you were more selfish
and to simultaneously want yourself gone.
when you’re not around to love anymore, there will be nothing except love for you
and everything that you were
because when there is nothing
we will still have love.


ishani jasmin (via oshono)

(Source: ishanijasmin)

10:01pm  |   URL:
Filed under: mot mine 
March 10, 2014

Bowery Women by Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz


Bowery Women by Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz

(Source: eros-turannos)

12:16pm  |   URL:
Filed under: not mine 
March 8, 2014
Excerpt From: On Monsieur’s Departure

I grieve and dare not show my discontent
I love and yet am forced to seem to hate
I do, yet dare not say I ever meant
I seem stark mute but inwardly do prate
   I am and not, I freeze and yet am burned
   Since from myself another self I turned

March 7, 2014
Excerpt from a short story for ‘Writer’s Craft’…

                Michael did not seem to enjoy conversation. She walked with purpose, taking long, confident strides with her chest puffed out and her chin held high. She strode to the front of the church and searched briefly for matches. Eve watched as the candles were lit, their dancing light casting silhouettes of a creature with six wings that stretched eighteen feet.

                Michael remained focused in her work and soon the candles were all lit and Michael kneeled in front of the statue of Christ. Eve sat in the pew at the front, close to Michael. The light danced across Christ’s face, making him appear to move with it.

                Michael’s skin looked luminescent, perhaps due to the candles surrounding her. Eve still didn’t believe her to be an angel. Michael bowed her head at the foot of Christ and clasped her hands in front of her. She began speaking softly, Eve couldn’t hear the words, but the voice could certainly be considered angelic.

                For a moment the candles flared, Michael’s dark hair appeared to float about her shoulders and the room filled with a strange music. Eve covered her ears, the room grew brighter and Michael looked up, the music continued.

March 3, 2014

Hot molten metal

Poured so thin it almost breaks

I feel it is me

March 3, 2014

Burst forth from my chest

A burning phoenix afraid

It bursts into ash

March 2, 2014
My Man

I could not be considered conventionally pretty
And I certainly would not be thought of as witty
But I try my best not to be shitty
I try to make it in this big cold city

But I look at his face with elfin good looks
His feet on the floor, his nose in his books
Whenever I see him my skin starts to cook
But I remain where I am, cramped in my nook

I think of a future in which we hold hands
I think of him kneeling caving to my commands
I think of a future where he understands
I think of a future where no one
Misunderstands my demands where I can
Expand and plan and even withstand
A future with me, and my love for my man

11:30am  |   URL:
Filed under: poem love sort of for school 
March 1, 2014
All That I Wanted Was…

Free Verse

The river can take me I’m done with this world

If all it will offer is hurt

The water can drown me in pebbles and sea weeds

All that I wanted was

Something I could feel like a soft velvet rain

Something I felt in my heart

Something I could taste like warm chocolate cake

Something to fill up the whole

Something I could see or at least that I could sense

Something so utterly me

Something I could smell like soft summer rain like freshly cut grass

Caressing my feet

Something I could hear like bells in a church yard like cold winter music

Bitter and loud that fills me with heat

All that I wanted was

All that I got was

All that I’m left with is this

11:31am  |   URL:
Filed under: poem for school 
February 28, 2014
The Wolf and the Sea and Me

Well I don’t know if little red was the antagonist or the protagonist

 But I do know she wasn’t the wolf and I know she should have been

 And maybe the story would have been shorter

 And maybe it would have been longer

 But it would have been better

 And every little girl should learn to be granny

 And red

 And the huntsman

 But especially the wolf.

 All girls need to know how to be the wolf.

But now I can see the blood

And I can taste the iron

And it’s going to be a long walk home

And it’s going to be a hard walk home

And I’m going to walk on the path that wasn’t there before

And maybe I’ll get there

And maybe I won’t

But promise you’ll look

In the stream

In the brook

In the ocean

In the sea

Look for me

Look for my bones.

February 27, 2014
For Lovers Not Ready to Die for Love


In a forest soft and silent

                I met a girl by a stream

Her hair was long and violet

                Her eyes of emerald green

She smiled at me from the water

                A smile I returned ten fold

Then she rose herself from the water

                Her form, dripping and bold

My hand she took and together

                We raced through the crowded trees

Until we reached a clearing

                Where we then fell to our knees

My mother’s voice rang in my head

                It was a sin to love another girl

I pushed it back and ignored it

                Letting my hand in her hair unfurl

We kissed underneath a pale moon

                Our fingers tightly intertwined

She pulled me close to her body

                If this was a sin, I’d remain blind

When we awoke the air was freezing

                We remained in each other arms

To our homes we would not be returning

                We would have to make the forest ours

We erected a small log cabin

                To us we would call it home

And together we lived very happily

                In our home in the woods alone